its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
