girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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