dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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