all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
