I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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