carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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