I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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