I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
