Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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