Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
