We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
