I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
