If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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