goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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