my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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