He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
