Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
