This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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