i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
