I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
