just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
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i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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