Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
