One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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