I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
