chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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