Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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