i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
