All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
