So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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