3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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