so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
