I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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