Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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