when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
