The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
