I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
