Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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