it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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