The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
