well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
