Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
