8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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