She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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