Nicole vs. Life
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize