There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
