they need to just BURY HIM!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
