I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize