Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize