we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
