She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
