the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
How does it feel to date your dad?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
