school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
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Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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