just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
