I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
