dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
