Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
