She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
