ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
